Playing Catch(UP) is a beeeeeeeeeeeeep!!

Dang it!! I have not had time to post or anything like I wanted to. I have not had time to read other blogs like I wanted to. Shoot. BUT the good thing is that I am being productive.

My son and I drove to Nashville this past Friday with a friend and her son for college orientation. I think I might have mentioned that my son is going to college there (Tennessee State University). It was a short drive, but tiring nontheless. I am still recouperating from the cancer and subsequent treatments and surgeries and anything extra always wears me out. It was a one day orientation that started at 8 am (we left Memphis at 4 am) that involved seminars and walking around a huge campus. Now since I haven't been banded yet and haven't lost much weight, walking isn't very fun. Now add the BLAZING sun to that equation and you got swoon worthy situations just waiting to happen. I made it though. The sun zapped me, but we made it back home about half past eight that evening. I was pooped, but so excited for my son that we sat up till midnight talking about his priorites and possibilites for success. This is my only child so I got to get this right.

On the lapband front, I have my 3-4 hour meeting with the doctor this Saturday at 7 am. WTHEEEEEECKKK!! Yes I said SEVEN A.M. Dang I don't have to be at work M-F until 8. So that means I have to get up at least by 5:30 just to get ready because its a good drive from my house. Ahhh well, I'm looking forward to it as it means I am moving forward with everything. I think I may have mentioned that I am going to see if the doctor has an opening for early August to do my surgery. This will be after my son leaves for band camp. I will have saved the $500 that I need for the out-of-pocket fee and will have gotten Jon safely off to college. This way I won't have anything hindering my path from here on out.

Whew!! Ok, got more catching up to do.

Me...Beautiful Blogger Award!!

And the Beautiful Blogger Award goes to.....(opening the envelope)....Pamela!! Crowd claps.

"I would like to thank the academy for this wonderful award. Especially for Ronke for nominating me even though she still is recuperating from surgery. Wow, what can I say. Thank you Ronke for such a prestigious honor."

Ok, I am to let you in on seven things you do not know about me, as well as nominate 7 other lovelies! Its hard for me to talk about about myself. Never could do it, but I will give it a whirl!!

1. I am loyal to a fault. If I call you friend, I am like a loyal dog. I'll always be there for you.

2. I have a tendency to be frank and honest with the above mentioned loyalty. If you are my friend & ask my opinion, you get it "straight, no chaser." I don't believe in sugarcoating anything. Now I do have tact, but I'm not going to butter your bread for ya.

3. I love fashion. I always say "If I had the money to dress like I really wanted to..."

4. After I make a post, I go back to it several times to re-edit, after it's been published. Its crazy because after I re-read my own post, I see errors all over the place or just stuff I want to change or add.

5. I wanted to be white as a child growing up or as light as I could get. It was bad because all of my cousin's were much lighter in skin color than I and had long hair (anybody seen "School Daze" by Spike Lee). I think I mentioned in one of Amy's posts that my aunts treated me like the "black sheep" of the family, and not because of my behavior, but because of my skin tone. When I formed a sorority in high school, I chose Chelsea for my line name. I didn't learn to appreciate my skin color until I got much, much older.

6. I took piano lessons from 3rd to 5th grade, but gave it up after my fabulous teacher relocated to another state. I hate that I stopped playing. To this day I want to take it up again and learn to play "Nadia's Theme" by Henry Mancini (Young & the Restless theme song).


7. I have imagined myself excepting awards for my films & television series'(writing, directing, producing). I lay awake at night planning my rise to stardom. Guess that's why I'm always sleepy.

On to my nominating other wonderfully beautiful bloggers in no specific order.
1. Stephanie
2. Pie
3. Joey
4. Sandy Lee
5. DrJeas
6. Cindy Lew
7. Amanda

There are plenty others (Bonnie, Draz, Bianca, Amy W., Maria, etc...) and couldn't name them all (cause they already got the award or something)here, but know that I thank you so much for your support.

When I'm a Billionaire

This is my new theme song!!!

Food Stuff, Recipes & A Giveaway

Happy Monday to you all!!

I'm not going to make this long today. I have a couple of post that I will put up in the coming days that may be long.

I have a question. As I read all of your blogs and prepare for my own WLS, I am interested in advice and recipes. If you can tell someone one or two things that you didn't know before or during your experience what what it be? Also is their a recipe for something that you just have to share. Be it a must eat for when you are on the mushies or just an overall great recipe for someone who has had WLS. Let me know. I am a recipe junkie. I own soooooo many cook books and I am always on the internet for more recipes. I do find though that I don't have enough when it comes to being banded.

Shelly over at www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com (or you can just click her name) is generous enough to giveaway a fabulous Cuisinart 1-1/2-Quart Ice-20 Automatic Ice Cream Maker!! Go over to her blog, check it out and enter.

Have a wonderful day and week!!

BYOC...Bring Your Own Craziness

** Carmen helped Draz with most of these questions...Draz was brain dead after shopping. Thank you Carmie!

1. If your heart had a singing voice, whose would it be?
The ever great Celine Dion. Every time she sings my heart just swells and I cry. She is phenomenal!!

2. What is your most disgusting habit?
I the most gaseous person I know (except for my son). I can blow a room up. I hate admitting that. I have so much Febreeze in my house its pitiful. I don't know what I'm going to do when I ever get a husband. He won't leave the room because of my snoring, it will be because a bomb went off in the bedroom. And I would be mortified if I farted in my sleep and he heard it. Embarrassing much.

3. Carmen and Draz were talking about Chicago and their fears...for those of you going (and those of you not you can answer as if you were going)...what is your biggest fear?
That nobody will like me or talk to me and if they did, it will be minimal or out of obligation just to make nice. I don't normally care what folk think or say about me, but for some reason I think I would be wondering if anyone would even befriend me. And just for the record....this is SOOOO not like me.

4. This isn't so much a question but a challenge. Name one thing you will do for just one day next week in the name of health and commit to it on your blog and to us.
I will not eat any fast food this pay period. I will save that money for important stuff. I get lazy sometimes and don't cook. I will challenge myself to plan ahead this week coming up (starting Sunday) and plan all my meals.

5. Whose blog or comment stuck with you the most this week?
Stephanie's post about the Biggest Loser and how unhealthy their practices were set me off. I have to admit, I just got angry. I read the blog that Stephanie got it from and just sat there saying "I knew it!!" I used to refuse to watch weight loss shows such as BL and Celebrity Fit Club because they were unrealistic. If it was that easy folk wouldn't be fat a all. Everyone would be skinny and we would be as society deems one of "The Beautiful Ones."

Also every blog I read that makes me realize that this journey is hard, but indeed possible to voyage with the help, kindness and overall honesty of the very authors that write them.


***I would like to say a big HEY to all my new followers!! If I'm not following you please, please let me know in a comment. I don't want to miss your journey.***

Pics of Me & Happy Friday!!

Happy Friday everyone!! For some reason its been a long week. I have been trying to make the best of things. Wednesday I hadn't noticed it, but my co-worker asked me why I kept breathing. I didn't really know what she meant so I asked her if I was breathing hard as in labored breathing or sighing. She told me it was a sigh. She said I had did it about three times. Its funny how when things are happening around you, you don't realize what you are doing to articulate it nonverbally. I just didn't realize I was doing that. My co-worker asked if I was ok and I said yes. I just had things on my mind. Mostly money and the problems lack of it can cause. Also just thinking about the people I would help if I had a lot of it. My family, friends, random people who I didn't know.

I think about Pie and Bonnie who symphathizes with me about working a job that continuously leaves you uninspired. How I want to do what I dream of, but when you're in any city other than L.A. or New York its gonna be hard. If you could see me I'm sighing now. Its just so unconscious. I think about my job and wish that I worked for Oprah. I'm a writer and I would love to work for her magazine. I can see it now. I would write these riveting articles that would help the mission of O Mag..."To help women see every experience and challenge as an opportunity to grow and discover their best self." Yep, I pulled that straight from the mag, LOL. For what it's worth, I can't stay down long. I know I am destined for greatness and part of the challenge I spoke about above is this journey I'm on to become a more healthier me with this lapband.

Ok enough with that. My post was supposed to be just some pics (please excuse the amateurish way I posted these...trying to get the hang of this thing)I scanned of me. They are pics of me at a young age and much smaller (weight). You will see a gap in the timeline. I hated taking pics when I got bigger because I always knew that the camera added 10lbs.

My sister Renay & me as a baby

My brother, sisters & I @ the zoo. Thats me on the right with the up/down socks. Look how skinny my legs were.

Me on a hot summer day.

This is me @ Christmas. These were wonderful times.

My 6th grade school picture.

My 11th grade school picture. I laugh at this now. This was my awkward stage.

Thats me in the middle with my sisters @ the Mall of Memphis. Look how skinny I was. I think I was about 16 or 17 in this pic.

Me in the blue. This was @ my brother's wedding reception 2002. I've always thought I was pretty, but taking pictures was never my thing because of my weight. That's my mommy with the long hair. She always kept her children looking good.

I had to do a throwback of my mommy. I don't know what year this was, but she is so pretty.

Happy Hump Day!!

It's Wednesday y'all!! I know some are saying...and your point. Well, we are half way done with the week. I'm trying to motivate myself. It ain't working. Do you ever have a day when you just feel like you could just go back to bed. Today is that day for me. Not to start over but to just sleep in. So many things I wish and pray for and one of them is to be rich (or financially comfortable) so that I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to go to a job that I am not using all of my gifts and talents. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful and by no means should I complain because there are people in this country who are not employed, much less have the great benefits I have, but I do complain. Its hard to be creative person and be in a place that you literally sit and do nothing all day. Ahhh well, it is what it is.

Yesterday I had my EGD and it went well. I now have booked my 3-4 hour appointment with the doctor to discuss going foward. So I have a question for you all....

Before you were banded, did you ever feel like or think, what if I'm not successful at losing this weight even with a band?

I ask that question because I've done this diet thing so many times and now that I'm so close I'm a little scared of the what ifs. Anyway, have a great day my band buddies. Onward and forward.

Testing & BYOC

I have to play catch up since I was out yesterday. I don't have computer access at home because my laptop crashed a while ago. When I do get access its only because I borrowed the office laptop and its only when I go on sick leave.

All and all the testing went well yesterday. The only thing I would complain about is the stomach ultrasound. I forgot how that kinda hurt. The lady was pushing down on my stomach with that thingy so hard. She was nice, but I was like dang lady, ease up just a bit. Next is the EGD which I'm not looking forward to, but ah well its another step toward the ultimate goal of being healthy or looking somewhat like this

Now on to BYOC.......

1. What was your first pet?

As a kid my siblings and I had two cats. A black cat named JoJo and a black & white cat named Jason. They were bad as heck and always sharpened their claws on the furniture, but we loved playing with them. We would let them outside and they would soon find their way back home after playing. One day we found JoJo dead. We suspected he had drank out of a neighborhood ditch that was full of toxic stuff. Jason later got hit by a car. We buried both in the back yard beside each other.

2. When did you lose your virginity?

When I was 20. Yep I know a long while to wait. I had heard so many stories about how it hurt to have sex for the first time so I was scared as heck. I also wanted to be in love. I lived for the fairytale love story and wanted one for myself. It was with Kenny J(*last name witheld just in case somebody here knows him). He was my first real boyfriend. I held a torch for him for 8 years after we broke up. The event was so precious to me. No pain and cuddling afterward just like I had imagined it would be. A few months later when he went back to college I found out he had another girl he was cheating with. Broke my heart in a million pieces, but I will always remember Kenny.

3 & 4 – Drazil combined these two cuz this answer could be long. A follower (thanks Steph) asked if I could ask what a daily meal plan looks like for each of you – out of curiosity and out of possibly learning new foods to try.


Hmmm that changes daily for me.

Breakfast: Oatmeal with cinnamon, stevia and made up powdered milk

Lunch: Turkey burger on wheat with 2% Cheddar cheese on Wheat with mustard & baked lays

Dinner: Grilled Tilapia with a baked potato or pasta

If I have a snack afterward its either sugar free jello or pudding

5. Repeat question: What blog or blog comment stayed with you or stuck with you the most this week and why?

I am trying to catch up, but continue to be inspired by all the blogs I read daily. It helps me to know what to expect. That it's hard, but it can be done and the proof is all the fab pics I see, like Amy W. Also Jack Sh!t for posting my W.I.D.T.H pic and linking my blog. I love that he continues to inspire people, with other people. So cool.

1st round of testing and Randomness

I think I'm excited. I go for my lab testing tomorrow and will be out all day from work. Mainly because after the testing which lasts till about 1 pm, I have a plastic surgeon appointment at 2:30. I don't see any sense in going into work. The testing consists of blood draw (which I hate by the way-you would think I would be used to it), EKG and stomach ultrasound. Its getting close.

The randomness today is about one of my best friends. She got banded on May 10th. So its just been a month. She is complaining about its work and if I ever have to have it removed for some odd reason, I won't let them put it back in. WTC, she is talking about her hair is shedding and that she still has to do what a person without the band would to lose weight. WELL DUH! I told her this last year when she was considering WLS. She has low-self esteem and has been in an abusive relationship. She wants to be skinny and make her abusive baby daddy eat his heart out and possible act right. WTC again! She insists that she got banded for her health, but I know better. I told her that if she was not ready to lose weight then the band would do her no good in the long run. She knows if you have internal issues (abuse of any kind, etc...) losing weight won't solve those issues. It just frustrates me sometimes when I hear her complain about something she did to herself and now that its not working the way she wants it to she complains.

Ok that was my rant for today. Talk to you guys on Friday.

Blogger down and Al Roker

Ok, I tried non-stop to post and to comment this morning and got nothing. For the times I could comment on folks blog it would give me this Blogger is down status and then I would try again (because I'm persistent that way) and it would give me the same message. Only to come back (again with the persistence) and see that I posted the same message twice on some of your blogs. I tried to delete the extra, but then it would ask me to re-sign in. WTC(What the Crap), I'm already signed in. Anywho I'm here at 3:freaking42 in the afternoon trying to read, comment and post all at the same time. Probably will be tomorrow before I get to everyone.

Did anyone see Al Roker on the Today Show this morning talking about his WLS? I missed it but caught it online (cause you know I don't do jack at work) but my mom called and reminded me and I decided to check it out. It was to say the least a sincere heartfelt account of how and why he decided to have Gastric By-pass. I have watched this man for years. I love his sense of humor and just over all way of reporting. My mom who is now on board told me that it was very interesting and touching. I think she was surprised to see that this man who is in television decided to take control of his life in this manner. My mom has now learned so much since my first talking to her about my own WLS and is not against it any longer.

Al talked about being called "Fat Albert" as a kid because his given name is Albert.
His father before dying asked him to loose weight and get healthy. It's a revealing account of a very public figure. If you didn't see it this morning. I've posted it here.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

BYOC, New Followers and Randomness

1. If you could live anywhere in the world - where would it be and why?

I can't make up my mind to be honest. Because I want to work in the Film & Television industry, the easy answer would be California, but NY has a great access as well. Ok Los Angeles, California. I want to live near the beach and work on my craft and hang with the artsy folk. The only drawback to that would be the earthquakes.

2. How old were you when you got drunk for the 1st time?

I've never been drunk persay. I have been tipsy, but with my control issues, I would never allow myself to drink to the point of getting drunk (ie. losing control). I think my first time drinking though was at 20 when I broke up with my first real boyfriend Kenny because he cheated on me. It was a long distance relationship and he was away at college. I wasn't drunk just mostly sad, crying and tipsy.

3. What was your favorite toy growing up? I had two.

My easy baker oven and my pottery wheel. Among many things I wanted to be a sculptor.


4. What's your favorite season and why?

Fall is by far my favorite. The weather is just right. Not to hot and not to cold or rainy. The leaves on trees are so beautiful this time of year. Not to mention my birthday is in the Fall.

5. Repeat question....which blog or comment spoke to you or stuck with you the most this week?

I was so moved by Grace's Vlog. I was going back and reading post and playing catch-up and couldn't sit through it all. I remember feeling that way when I went through a break-up and there are no words or enough tears to express the pain. Also just reading the brave post of people who have decided to take their lives into their own hands have left an lasting impressing with me.

Thanks for following me to all the new folk. I have been adding and reading today and have found so many interesting and inspiring people here. I thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to peep into your private lives. If I have overlooked you and somehow haven't started following you yet and you are following me please let me know because I can't see a thing without my glasses (if anyone can tell me which cartoon character and/or cartoon this comes from, drinks are on me when you come to Memphis-betcha can't guess)

Ok time for some randomness:

1. Before this cancer & the double mastectomy I had 48Es and now nothing. Losing the breast are not an issue because as India Arie said I am not my hair, well I am not my breast. Anyway, I realized that since I don't have breast my stomach is mega big. Ugggh, I try to camouflage it as best I can but wow! I'm in the middle of reconstruction and at the same time schedule a lap band procedure so after a while I will have a nice new perky pair (smaller of course) and a flat(ter) stomach.

2. Words that I hate: pus, pussy, scab, dick. I was just thinking of that as I went to fill my water bottle up. Don't know why.

3. Do skinny women feet hurt when they are in cute high heels for a long time? I have on the cutest pair of red heels, but shoot my feet hurt. I guess thats the price you pay to look cute.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

Blah Day

I should feel better, but I'm just blah today. I finally got that blasted drain tube out from the minor surgery I had and I do feel a little better.

What I can't figure out is why I'm not more excited about the up coming lap band procedure. Has it worn off already? Because of the aboved mentioned surgery I had to reschedule my lab work and EGD. Lab is on the 10th of this month and the EGD is on the 15th. Then I meet with the surgeon and pay $500 and hopefully will have surgery in late July. I guess I got so much going on its hard to get excited. I mean I'm coming down off a high from my son graduating and now trying to figure out how much money its going to take to pay for everything. He has three scholarships and I get half off tuition so I'm good on that, but there are books to buy, band camp to pay for, I promised I would get him a new laptop as well as I have to pay for my procedure. I need to win the lottery.

Computer problems & Comments

Its 4:12 p.m. and I am just now getting computer access at work. Oh well.

Sandy was so nice to let me know that my comment section is acting up. She can't leave any comments. Can anyone help me with this matter. I'm clueless and have done what I thought this thing told me.

You can reach me at pamelaewilliams@hotmail.com.

Thanks. I hope you all had a great Memorial Day holiday.